Monday, 21 November 2011


..know that feeling when you want to start your new blog entry forcefully, when you realize you haven't got a clue what to write about?
This is that moment for me
So I'l just write my impressions from the movie I've seen recently.
If you haven't seen it and want to, avoid reading for some possible spoilers.

Conan The Barbarian
My oh my what a bad movie was that.
I love the world of Conan and his character, I've read so many Conan comic books and stories in my childhood.
I consider R.E Howard one of the best story tellers in fantasy genre, alongside R.E Tolkien, George Martin and many more
Then comes the Hollywood and butt rapes everything I hold dear.
The backbone of the movie is not so bad.. A guy looses his wife and decides to resurrect her by collecting pieces of some magic mask or whatever.
No problem with that.
What I've got the problem with is the way some parts of this movie were shot. Just so naive and lame that I cant believe some people were being paid to write such a lame ass scenario to be filmed.
The opening sequences of fast forward narrative of what's going on and yada yada yada,, the moment it finishes I scream just like Conan's father screams when he pulls baby Conan out of his dead mothers womb(that scene in itself is epic, bit gruesome but still epic)
I loved the scene where young Cimmerian man were being initiated as a grown man and warriors with that running around the hill with egg in their mouths,,, then teen Conan slaughters some wild horde, returns to his village and spits out unbroken egg, that was epic as well. Dont like entirely the way it was shot, but love the idea and epicness of Conan.
The actor, Momoa, even tho I was quite disappointed when I discovered he is playing Conan, he proved me wrong. I liked him as a Conan, very fitting casting in his case, tho it would not hurt if they increased his physical size using cg trickery by at least 15%
Reading most of R.E Howards stories, I always imagined Conan as a biggest and toughest guy in the neighborhood.
Anyways, to avoid going into details, I hate how clunky and badly this movie was put together with so many holes in the story development.
The ending was just plane terrible. As if studio run out of budget and slapped the ending together in one day or something.
So predictable and shallow and inconclusive,, what a waste. I wanted to see Conan The Barbarian that can compete for oscars, that can get your emotions up high just as Lord of the Rings movies does, or Brave Heart,, but instead we were given another cinematic garbage and another successful rape of Conan franchise. YACK

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